dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
