I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize