ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
