Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
