Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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