The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
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