I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
