His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
