I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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