I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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