I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
