I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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