This girl is more easily done than said...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
