..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
