loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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