i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
