I have demons in me.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
