I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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