he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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