...so i touched it.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
