I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
