She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
