ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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