I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
