I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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