don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Who wears a wallet chain?!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
