had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i've created a new STD.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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