I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
