ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize