Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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