My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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