you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
