That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
