Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
