ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Farmville is her only friend.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
