I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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