; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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