Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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