Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize