i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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