Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize