Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
