Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We named our party play list daddy issues
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
