I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
