Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
