Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
