Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
