I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
