I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
