did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Every concussion has its silver lining
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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