First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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