dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
