just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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