life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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