Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Come on in and take your pants off
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
