she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Of course I have a pirate flag
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
