So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i think we sleep fucked last night...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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