Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
