don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
