Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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