I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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