I heard we made out
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
